


Getting Better

by Rosawyn



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Awkwardness, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dancing, Declarations Of Love, Drunken Kissing, Drunkenness, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gift Fic, Hangover, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Fanart, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Recovery, Sharing a Bed, Weddings, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 18:51:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5596927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosawyn/pseuds/Rosawyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn's just trying to figure these relationship things out.  To be fair, Poe's a little confused himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Getting Better

**Author's Note:**

> For [carg](http://cargsdoodles.tumblr.com/), whose lovely piece of [fanart](http://cargsdoodles.tumblr.com/post/135612644519/so-how-long-do-i-have-to-wait-till-theres-some) inspired the fic.
> 
> A grateful shout-out to my beta, [EstherA2J](http://archiveofourown.org/users/EstherA2J), for her help and encouragement! :)

Poe blinks open sleepy eyes, but of course it's just Finn hovering near his bunk again. Rather than saying a word, Poe just shuffles over to make room. Finn doesn't say anything either, just slides under the covers and curls gratefully around Poe.

Finn has his own bunk, of course, but he hasn't actually slept a full night there since his discharge from the infirmary. He was cold the first night, which made sense because he was still trying to recover fully from his injuries. And it was a lot simpler for Poe to let Finn crawl in bed with him than try searching the base for extra blankets at that hour.

Finn's fully recovered now—or at least to the point where he feels fine unless he tries to stretch a bit too far—but he still joins Poe in his bunk every night. Still wraps strong arms around Poe's body, holding him close. Still presses his face, sometimes, into the back of Poe's neck or shoulder.

And...maybe it's kind of weird, except for how it really _isn't_.

Because... Finn's never had _anyone_. And the only other person he really knows, his only other friend, is off on a mission to find Luke Skywalker. Was gone before he regained consciousness. It makes absolute sense that he'd be lonely, that he'd crave physical reassurance that he's not alone.

Hell, the poor guy never even had a stuffed animal growing up. Maybe Poe's filling in that role. And he can't say he minds.

But he also can't say he hasn't wondered, worried, that maybe this...looks bad. That maybe people might start getting the wrong idea.

That people might think he's taking advantage.

Or, much worse, that maybe he _is_ in fact taking advantage. Poe and Finn don't kiss or anything like that, but it's not like Poe _minds_ having someone to cuddle. He honestly enjoys it quite a lot. (Even if the bunk really isn't made for two grown adults.) It's _nice_.

And maybe that's the problem.

See, in a lot of ways, Finn is like a child. He's experienced so little that the galaxy has to offer, has no frame of reference for what any sort of relationship is supposed to look like. Not even in vaguest terms. He was ripped from his family and raised from infancy with training, conditioning, and outright programing where love, security, and affection should be. Can a person just 'get better' from that?

It's deeply disturbing, thinking about it all.

“Are you all right?” Finn asks.

“What?” Shaking his head a bit to clear it, Poe slides one hand over Finn's where it's splayed against his chest. “Yeah—why do you ask?”

“Well,” Finn replies, “you're not asleep. Or even relaxed. You seem...worried I guess.”

Poe laughs, pressing Finn's hand closer against his chest. “Okay, you caught me.” He turns his head to peek at Finn out of the corner of his eye in the low light. “And: sorry.”

Finn's quiet for a moment, but then he says, “Maybe talking about it would help—whatever's worrying you, I mean.”

“Well...normally, that's true,” Poe admits, chewing a bit on his bottom lip. “Talking usually does help.”

“I worry about Rey sometimes,” Finn admits when Poe doesn't elaborate.

Poe rolls onto his back so he can turn and look at Finn properly. His brows draw together in a bit of a frown. “She'll be all right.”

“I know,” Finn replies. “She's smart and resourceful and a good fighter—she's got Luke's lightsaber and Chewbacca to watch her back. I know she's just as safe as we are if not more so.” His shoulders twitch in a bit of a shrug. “Doesn't stop me from worrying a bit.”

Poe chuckles. “Yeah, I get that.”

Finn's lips curve into a bit of a smile. “I guess worrying's pretty pointless, though.”

Poe sighs. He catches Finn by the wrist. “That it is, my friend.”

“But you don't want to talk about what's bothering you,” Finn says, eyes on where Poe's fingers encircle his wrist.

Poe grimaces. He laughs a little awkwardly. Maybe he shouldn't say, but he doesn't like being dishonest or even evasive with Finn. (Poor guy's had far too many people ignore and dismiss his wants and concerns. And intentionally manipulate him.) “I was worrying about you, actually.”

“I'm right here, though,” Finn says with a little laugh, pressing his palm against Poe's chest and moving it back and forth a bit. “And I've been going to all my checkups, doing all my stretches and everything just like they tell me. Taking my meds. Taking it easy, too.”

“I know,” Poe says with a fond smile. “And I'm really glad of all those things. But I guess it's like you said: it doesn't stop me from worrying.”

“Did talking about it help?” Finn asks after a moment.

Poe laughs, soft and a little surprised. “I guess it did, actually.” He feels more relaxed, at any rate. Talking to Finn is so easy, so natural. Like breathing.

Finn shifts closer, laying his head on Poe's chest. “Is this okay?” he checks.

Poe rubs at his short, curly hair, enjoying the tickle against his palm. “It is.”

They're quiet for a little while and then Finn says, “I can hear your heartbeat.”

Poe grins, letting his fingers stroke a bit at the back of Finn's neck. “Is that good?”

“It's...” Finn shifts closer still, fingers curling around under the hem of Poe's shirt, brushing against his skin. “Yeah.”

Poe swallows, staring up through the darkness at the ceiling. Of course Finn would want to cuddle like this, to touch. Physical contact is a basic human need, really. And... The fact is, it's only complicated in Poe's head because he's _making_ it complicated.

Because...it's not like either of them is doing anything inappropriate. Poe's just letting Finn cuddle with him, so Finn doesn't have to feel scared and alone.

And hey, they're _friends_. He's allowed to enjoy spending time with his friend. He lets himself smile a bit, lets himself relax fully and finally drift off.

o0o

Jessika and Kaydel kiss and the assembled crowd cheers. Poe pumps his fist in the air, a broad grin on his face. It's not the first wedding he's ever attended, but it's probably the one about which he feels the happiest—perhaps mostly because it's taking place at such a time, in the midst of such loss and uncertainty. It's really and truly great to see his friends find a bit of happiness.

At his elbow, Finn cheers as well. Poe shoots him a grin. At least Finn seems to be enjoying himself, even if he is mostly just trying to take everything in—this is the first wedding _he's_ ever attended, after all.

As they regroup for the less formal portion of the evening, Poe throws an arm around Finn. “So, what did you think?”

Finn nods. “It was—nice.”

“Yeah, just wait till the real fun starts,” Poe replies, giving Finn a little shake. “Think you'll be up to learning how to dance?”

“Uh...” Smiling, Finn drops his gaze then meets Poe's eyes again. “Sure—you gonna teach me?”

Poe laughs, gripping Finn by the shoulder though the carefully repaired jacket that's always looked better on Finn than it did on Poe anyway. “Sure thing! If that's what you want.”

Jess and Kay dance first, of course, and Poe nudges Finn as they're about to start. “Pay close attention,” he suggests, taking a swallow from his mug. “This'll be us next song.” He smiles, a little wry, tilting his head a bit to one side. “Well, us and everyone else—only the main couple has to do the whole...” A little of his Corellian ale sloshes out of the side of his mug as he gestures with it. “...dancing while everyone watches thing.”

The next song, however, is a lot faster, so it kind of requires a different sort of dance. But Finn still somehow manages to pick it up rather quickly—surprisingly quickly, actually. Poe says as much as they move about the floor, and Finn just shrugs a bit saying, “It's not too different from marching.”

Finn certainly knows more about marching than Poe does, so, to be fair, it's probably true. Except for the part where dancing is _fun_ rather than martial, and they're holding hands instead of weapons, and all.

o0o

They tumble through the door to their shared quarters later that night, Finn catching Poe by the elbow to keep him from falling on his face. “I think you may have had a bit too much of that ale,” he comments as he guides Poe to sit on the edge of his bunk.

Poe waves a dismissive hand. “I'm _fine_.” He's barely slurring his words, honestly. “I could even dance—wasn't I just dancing?”

“You were,” Finn admits sitting down next to him and shooting him a small half-smile. “But then you had another full mug right before we left.”

“Was thirsty from all the dancing,” Poe replies with a bright grin. It's perfectly logical, reasonable. “So anyway.” He leans back on his hands, still grinning at Finn. “Dancing. Drinking.” Lifting one hand from the mattress and shifting a bit to keep his balance, he waves it in a sort of encompassing gesture. “All that. Pretty fun, hey?” Finn nods, smiling a bit. It was a nice wedding to be Finn's first experience with one. No one puking on the table or punching anyone. No screaming matches between in-laws. Just a lot friendly people having fun and being very happy for the brides. “So.” Reaching out, Poe slaps Finn on the thigh. “Think you'd maybe like to get married some day?”

Finn smiles, shy and broad. “Maybe.”

Poe grins at him. “You just gotta...” He shakes his head, rubbing a hand over his eyes. He had a thought or something, but it's gone. “Damn, I'm tired.”

Finn bumps him with his shoulder. “Told you you had too much of that ale.”

“Nuh-uh.” Poe shakes his head. “Too much dancing maybe.” He smirks a bit but wrinkles his nose as well. “Feet hurt.” Of course he had a bit too much ale. But he just needs to sleep it all off and he'll be good to go in the morning.

Sighing, Finn slides off the bunk to crouch next to Poe's feet. “So get your boots off.” He tugs at the first one and Poe lets him slide it off. Of course it really does feel nicer to get his boots off. Finn...Finn's really smart and thoughtful. And he's got a really nice smile. And pretty eyes. Just as Finn's pulled off Poe's second boot, Poe catches him behind the neck and kisses him. And it's _really_ wonderful, because Finn kisses back.

Poe smiles against his lips. “I really love it when you smile.”

“I suppose I should smile more, then,” Finn replies. One of his hands still rests on Poe's ankle, warm through his sock.

“Yeah.” Poe grins dopily, resting his forehead against Finn's. “Good idea. I like that idea.”

“Here's another good idea,” Finn replies, voice warmed by his grin. “Getting some sleep.”

Poe hums in agreement, because he's kind of about to fall asleep, and it would probably be better if he were lying down to do that. He lets Finn guide him under the covers, catching his hand briefly and mumbling, “You too?”

“Yeah, me too.” Giving Poe a reassuring pat, Finn shuffles about for a moment—apparently pulling off his own boots and hanging up the jacket—then slides into bed behind Poe, wrapping his warm, familiar arms about him. Poe hums in approval, sliding one of his hands to cover Finn's against his chest and hold it there. Finn presses a tender kiss to the back of Poe's neck.

The bunk's still too narrow and the mattress is a little thin, but it's absolutely perfect.

o0o

“Ugh, I am never drinking _any_ kind of alcohol again,” Poe groans over breakfast the next morning. Upon waking up, he managed to stumble to the head on his own, wash his own face and clean his teeth, but when Finn suggested getting them both breakfast so they could eat in their room, Poe was honestly _so_ relieved. If he's being honest, he's _barely_ hung over. But it still feels like he's coming down with something at least moderately gross, and he'd rather stay where it's relatively quiet—and not too bright—as long as possible.

“I liked the Corellian ale,” Finn comments. “It was sweet.”

Poe shoots him a glare. He has a bit of an urge to kick him under the tiny table, but—Finn's being so nice to him, taking care of him and all. It just feels too mean. So he forces a few bites of his flatbread into his mouth and grunts unhappily.

“So,” Finn says after a bit, leaning back in his chair. He's finished eating already which earns him an unimpressed glare from Poe. “Last night, you kissed me.”

Groaning, Poe presses both palms over his face. “I guess we're talking about that.”

“I thought it was probably better to talk about it,” Finn says, sounding a little unsure.

Poe peeks at him around his fingers, and the poor guy looks a little worried, a little confused. Like maybe he's done something wrong, committed some social gaffe. Sighing, Poe pulls his hands away from his face, folding his arms on the edge of the table and leaning on them. “Yeah; you're right: we do need to talk about that.” He sighs again. “I was—a bit drunk.”

One side of Finn's lips curls upwards. “That much was obvious.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Poe wrinkles his nose, waving Finn's smugness away. “But anyway, I feel like I should really apologize.”

Finn frowns, tilting his head to one side. “For kissing me?”

Poe chews a bit on the inside of his lip. “Yeah? I mean, you—you're— You wouldn't—” Okay, so he isn't really making a lot of sense here. Probably should've thought this through. But Finn didn't really give him time. He grimaces. “Do you even know what it means? Kissing, I mean.”

Finn ducks his head a bit, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I think I have something of an idea—I was at the wedding yesterday.”

“Right.” Poe rubs a hand over his mouth. He sighs. “Okay then.”

“But...” Something closes off in Finn's eyes. “You didn't really want that...with me.” He looks away. “You were drunk, like you said. So you weren't thinking clearly.”

“Wait, no—” Poe's chest _hurts_. Finn can't think that—can't think Poe doesn't want him, doesn't like him. That he's not wonderful and amazing and _gorgeous_. Poe sucks in a breath and lets it out, trying for calm and clarity. He's done enough damage already by not choosing his words. “I was drunk, yes. So, no, I wasn't exactly thinking clearly. But...you were taking care of me, and I like your smile, and you have pretty eyes.” Okay, so maybe he's still not making any sense. He grimaces. “What I mean to say is, I wouldn't have kissed you if I wasn't drunk, but I don't have to be drunk to _want_ to kiss you. And—” He frowns. “I wouldn't have to be drunk to like it.” He grimaces again. Is there a way to make any of that clearer? His head still hurts.

Finn is quiet for a moment, then he says, “Why wouldn't you kiss me if you want to?”

“Because I don't know if _you_ want to!” Running his finger along the edge of his plate, Poe adds in a grumble, “You can't just go kissing people who don't want to be kissed. Who don't want _you_ to kiss them.”

Finn offers him a small, soft smile, and his eyes twinkle just a bit. “You could ask me.”

Poe frowns. He grimaces, rubbing at his forehead. “Look, I didn't want to make you feel like you had to. Like you had to kiss me or do anything like that in order for you to—to share my bunk or hug or whatever. I didn't want you to feel pressured in any way.”

Finn nods, looking thoughtful. “I appreciate that,” he says after a moment. “And I think I understand where you're coming from.” Then he smiles, shaking his head. “Forgive me if I still find these sorts of relationships confusing.”

Poe laughs, kneading the muscles in the back of his neck. “You're not the only one, buddy.”

Finn leans forward, resting his forearms on the table. “But if you hadn't gotten drunk at the wedding, would we both have just gone on forever never knowing the other wanted...that?”

Poe's face twists in a sort of apologetic grimace. “Uh...maybe?”

“How does _anyone_ ever figure it out?” Finn asks, an exasperated edge to his words.

“I have no idea, honestly.” Poe offers him an expression that's half smile half grimace. “People flirt, I guess. But—I mean, flirting can be pretty confusing too, pretty difficult to figure out. Like...” He spreads his hands. “If a person's even flirting in the first place—or if they're flirting but just playing around, or if they're serious.” He grins, warm and a little wry. “In the stories I liked as a kid, there was usually a scene when one person was going to go off to war or on a dangerous quest, right?” He shoots Finn a quick look from under his brows and Finn nods. “Or,” Poe continues, “one person would get really sick—or sometimes injured—often nearly die. And the other person would just kind of blurt it out: 'I love you!'”

Finn smiles, warm and broad but still a little hesitant. Reaching across the table, he catches Poe's hand. “I...well, I guess I already almost lost you—and thought I'd lost you—once.” Poe's nearly lost Finn too. _Twice_ , if they're keeping score. “How about I just say it now,” Finn continues, “rather than waiting for another crisis?”

“Wait, you—” Poe splutters a bit, eyes moving rapidly between Finn's face and their joined hands. “You mean—?”

Finn smiles with a touch of apology in his eyes and tilts his head a bit to one side. “I admit I'm still pretty new to all this. But you're important to me. And I saw how Jessika and Kaydel were looking at each other, and it looked a lot like how I feel about you. And...” He ducks his head a bit, not quite hiding a bashful smile. “I like how you smell. I like the warm amber colour of your skin and the silly way your hair flops about. I like your eyes, and how you've always got just a little stubble on your face. And I—” He ducks his head again, peeking at Poe through dusky lashes. “I really like wearing your jacket—and I felt this stupid kind of excited-happy when you said I could keep it, when you said it looked good on me.”

Poe grins. It's broad and bright and he really can't help it. He strokes his thumb over the back of Finn's hand. “I love seeing you in my jacket,” he admits. “And it really does look good on you.” He grimaces a bit, nodding his head from side to side. “Not that you need _help_ looking good or anything.”

Finn grins back. After a few moments, he lets Poe's hand go to push himself to his feet. “So,” he says, making his way around the tiny table to stand right next to Poe, “now that we're both sober—and hopefully thinking clearly—can I kiss you?”

Poe stares up at him, awed and a little terrified but also one-hundred percent sure. “Absolutely.”

And it's, honestly, _so_ much better than the first time.

**Author's Note:**

> [Jessika Pava](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jessika_Pava) and [Kaydel Ko](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Kaydel_Ko) are both (very) minor characters in 'Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens'. I honestly just picked them because they are both Resistance, apparently single and unrelated, and look close to the same age.


End file.
